Who am I?
I like building things that benefit and improve personal (and other human/non human life) as well as teaching, self learning and mentoring others. I like to read, travel and eat well. I find the idea of “deep work” to be really intriguing. A skill that facilitates rapid learning and the production of high-quality outcomes under pressure. Working deeply raises performance and provides the actual satisfaction that comes from craftsmanship
Values
With all the stones life throws at us, find that balance
Inspiration to pen this post came from Stonecharioteer’s blog. I came across this philosophical question somewhere in 2010 when I was in a limbo after completing my bachelor’s degree in engineering. Finally, the time has arrived to write about my values. Do you have a personal code of honour?
You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world.” ~ Fight Club
I am a simple human being who also happens to be a neuroscientist with average intellect, high curiosity & enthusiasm, a teacher at heart, loves (reading/discussing books, travelling, good food), open science enthusiast and a tech lover.
Irrespective of my preoccupations or circumstances, I root for some values that define me and constantly remind me of my personal journey on this planet. First and foremost, I loathe bullies and those who intentionally inject inferiority into others. I have tolerated and even been a good friend with half a dozen of such people. Part of that came from my non confronting personality and my respect for their intellectual and technical prowess. I used to have these two wolves fighting in my head, and I am happy that the empathetic one won over. Once the light bulb went on, I slowly started cutting off such people from my life. Life is really short, and it takes an emotional toll on me to be unassertive. I am still working on this skill and getting real better. The other part of this value comes from the fact that I love teaching.
This is me taking control — from Sloan, from the Fraternity, from Janice, from billing reports, from ergonomic keyboards, from cheating girlfriends and sack-of-shit best-friends. This is me taking back control — of my life. What the fuck have you done lately?" ~from film Wanted
My parents were teachers, my family members were teachers, my grandfather was the founder of a school, and I had inspiring teachers (my seniors in my research lab) in my life (less than half a dozen though). I think I inherited my teaching gene and associated values with that. Being a great teacher and mentor demands an arsenal of values and discipline. Priority is always given to the student. What I think is the best might not be the best for my mentee or student. I need to be mindful of students’ insecurities, learning curves, life situations, priorities, etc. A great teacher inspires. In my own personal life, I have suffered enough blows to my mental well-being and career growth because of such horrible bosses. The goal is to dodge such people and never be like them. A great teacher should also entertain the possibility (reality) that students can be smarter than their teachers. Students are collaborators, not competitors. I find joy when my students write better code than me or come from a better place than mine. I aspire to be a mirror to my students, someone they can trust, bounce off their thoughts, and see them for what they are rather than what they are not.
I no longer track titles or keep track of my followers, likes, or citations. To prove my worth (to myself), I still need two or three significant victories in my life (Mission accomplished). This portion of me is attempting to quench or put out some former personal disaster. This is where I get my life’s speed from. The drawback is that when I wake up, my chest feels heavier. I must quickly get rid of it (Almost there buddy).
I believe in inclusiveness, especially with respect to gender, race, religion, and culture. I hate power games and hierarchies, which are oppressive. I also believe in creating a safe environment around me in my limited capacity. I trust science and its self-correcting nature. I also believe science and technology, in proper hands, can solve a lot of issues in the current world.
Finally, I do acknowledge that I was lucky to be born to my parents with a twin sister. I will never forget the care and support from three of my best friends from engineering days. I will never forget those depressing days of crisis (financial, mental health, and family) where I felt extremely lonely, which shaped me in many ways. I will never forget when I got 5/100 in mathematics in class 12 and how my sister tutored me to 73/100. The days I failed in job interviews; the days I secured top ranks in entrance exams; the day I scored rank 4, the same day I dreaded death; the day I resigned my first job; the day I walked for two hours at midnight through the streets of Bengaluru with swollen eyes pondering about my career ahead; the day I cried my heart out in the rain in 2010. I cherish the evening I proposed to the love of my life and the day she told me YES. I remember the day I joined as a research scholar in neuroscience. I remember the days when I wrote excellent code. I remember the days I spent hiking in Himalayas without any contact to outside world for 2 weeks. I remember all the dogs I met and the book “Call of the Wild” by Jack London. I remember how emotional I was after finishing the Harry Potter series. I remember the shivering when I first read about black holes in class 8. I remember my first win in a maths quiz by a large margin (flawless victory). I do remember almost all my days (good, bad and ugly). I remember reading Da Vinci Code on a wooden bench. I remember downloading transcripts of Matrix trilogy and almost by hearting all the lines on a snail speed dialup modem.
I will forget all the extra baggage I used to carry (primarily from my shitty decisions, attitude at that time point, and random noise). I aspire to be at my best, which I think is still to come. I will continue to teach till my body holds its fort against entropy in the world. I was a happy kid and lost my happiness for a very long period. Around 2011, I recovered it, and ever since then, I have been pleased. I want to be content and at peace all the time.
Over all these years in this planet, I have glimpsed my Zen 😇